Most parents think praising their children is the best way to build their self-esteem and make them love themselves. That’s what most parents complain about in parent-teacher meetings: that teachers don’t praise the children enough.
But if you believe the same, you cannot be farther away from reality. Unnecessary praise isn’t building self-esteem. It is mollycoddling your child and shielding them from the realities of the harsh world around them. They must earn the praises, and the onus doesn’t lie on their teachers alone. Parents have a massive role in helping their children build self-esteem and self-love.
Here are a few helpful tips for parents to build confidence in their children and set them up for a successful life.
- Do Not Over-Praise Your Child Because It Does More Harm Than Good
Self-esteem comes from feeling secure and loved and from developing competence. Even though parents might be tempted, you cannot praise your child for making them competent because it takes effort and time to be good at something.
By over-praising your kids, you are lowering the bar for them and preventing them from pushing themselves to try and become the best.
Typically, if your child is enrolled in an ICSE or CBSE school in Siliguri, West Bengal, you’ll find teachers motivating students to do their best and never give up. While teachers are not over-praising them, they are not discouraging them either.
The same practice must be followed at home where you don’t praise your child for not achieving something, but you appreciate the effort. You can say things like, ‘I appreciate your effort and today was not your day. I am proud that you did not give up and confident that tomorrow you will come back stronger.’
- Make Your Child Feel Important And Try To Be Genuinely Interested In What They Have To Say Or Discuss
When your child wants to talk to you, stop what you are doing and be genuinely interested in what they have to discuss or say. The entire conversation may only take a minute, but it will have a lasting impression on your child. You wouldn’t want your child to feel that your phone or watching a movie is more important than listening to them.
Moreover, when you are talking to your relatives or friends, and your kids are around, avoid venting the trouble your little munchkin has put you through. Ensure your children hear praises when they overhear your conversation about them.
- Never Harshly Rebuke Your Child That They Lose Interest In Trying Again Because They’ve Failed Once Or Twice
The message that kids hear from parents or others translates into how they feel about themselves. So, you need to avoid criticizing them harshly because negative and harsh words can demotivate kids and bring down their self-esteem. It can prevent them from even trying to do the activity again in which they’ve failed.
- Create Opportunities For Your Children To Go Out Of Their Comfort Zone And Try New Things
In an attempt to make children push their limits and come out of their comfort zones, schools in Siliguri and elsewhere include myriad extracurricular activities. As a parent, you need to push your child to try out the various activities and even those they are a little afraid of. For instance, your child might generally like to take music lessons, but you can encourage them also to try out soccer camp or dance lessons.
However, don’t force them if they genuinely don’t enjoy those activities but motivate them to try it at least once. This will give them the confidence to always try new experiences before negating them. UPSC question
- Teach Children Self-Love By Showing Them Examples And Being A Good Role Model
The best way to teach children self-love is through being a good role model. Show them how they love themselves by taking out time for yourself and eating healthy foods. It would help if you cultivated hobbies and a positive mindset.
Your lifestyle will have a direct impact on your child. Since children learn quickly by example, it will help them become confident individuals who love themselves.
- Encourage Your Child To Take Healthy Risks And Don’t Kill Their Curiosity
Of course, you will always try to protect your child and never want any harm to befall them. However, it would help if you did not pamper them to the extent that they forget to take risks and become too dependent on you.
If you want your child to gain confidence, you must take chances and let your child make choices. So, let your child take healthy risks. Hold them responsible for their choices and let them find solutions to their problems. Do not try to rescue your child from failure all the time but let them learn how to overcome obstacles.
Children who take risks and solve their problems themselves become confident, strong individuals who can handle anything that life throws at them. They can also adjust better when they are away from home because of educational or professional commitments.
- Take out time to do activities together so your child can discover their strengths
How can you find out what your child is good at? The strengths, talents, and skills are not always obvious or traditional. Some kids need time to figure out what they’re good at, and you may even have to dig a little.
One of the best ways to identify your kid’s strengths is by planning and doing several activities together. You might even find your strengths in the process that you didn’t know existed.
Self-esteem and self-love are two essential characteristics parents need to teach their children. While some of it is also taught at school, the learning process must start at home. Keep in mind the tips mentioned above to help your child become a confident individual who is not afraid to work towards their goals. These teachings will even help children adjust better and quickly make friends at school.